Since my last love it or leave it post Reaghan has grown up quite a bit and we are using a lot more baby gear! Hopefully this can give you an idea of what might be helpful to have on hand during these months of baby development!




 There are a few things that we still haven't pulled out of Reaghan's closet that I'm excited to try out as she gets a little older! I will update as she grows!

Can I share a deep, dark secret of my soul?

It's a thought that might make me sound like I'm less of a Christian, or that my understanding of the bible is poor.

But it is this...

Sometimes when God performs miracles and answers prayers for others, I feel betrayed.

Why? Shouldn't I be praising His name for answered prayers? I often join my brothers and sisters in Christ praying for provision or healing or a miracle in a tough situation and I do rejoice when God answers the prayers in the way that we are asking. I celebrate, I thank him and I proclaim His good deeds to others. But, there is always a small part of me that wonders, deep down, why God has answered prayers for another but not for me; not for my family.

My brother was in a tragic accident in 2000, when he was only 9. We prayed that he might be able to walk again, that his ability to remember, learn and speak might be restored to normal, and that he wouldn't suffer from seizures. None of these things have been granted to us.

My sister and her husband are struggling with infertility. We've prayed for 4 years for God to open her womb. We are still waiting.

But....

A dear friend of the family had a stroke this past weekend, we prayed earnestly for his life and for healing because it didn't look good. I am overjoyed to share that God did answer our prayers and our friend is beginning his road to recovery. I can't thank God enough for hearing our cries. Seriously.

That small part of me that wonders "why not me?" in no way means that I am not rejoicing for the answered prayers for others. But the question still creeps up in my heart. I feel guilty writing it down, but it is truly the way that I feel and I sure do have to put every effort forward to not allow that feeling to take root and grow because I know there isn't an answer. No one can say why God answers some prayers and not others and I know I don't, in anyway, deserve to know the answer.

I realize I'm not the only one with unanswered prayers, which I guess is one reason I'm sharing this. I'm sure I'm not the only one who sometimes wonders why.

What's more? I don't have a beautiful, theological thought to summarize this confession. All I know is  this...

God is still God. Whether prayers are answered or go unanswered, He is still good. I love Him because He first loved me. He gave his Son so that I could have life everlasting and even though it seems like a far way off sometimes and it doesn't fully take away the hurt in the here and now, the prayers that feel unanswered will be wiped away one day. Maybe we'll understand why we didn't get what we asked for, or maybe it just won't matter anymore.

    neither are your ways my ways,”

declares the Lord.

9 

“As the heavens are higher than the earth,

    so are my ways higher than your ways

    and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8-9

I am unashamedly nostalgic and sentimental when it comes to saving keepsakes from different seasons of my life. In fact I have a pretty big tote that holds all of these momentos. I started this tote during my late years of highschool and brought it with me when I married. It got a little beat up during the move (over 2 years ago) and I just now brought it back down to reorganize and put into new totes!

Reaghan turned 4 months old yesterday! Her 4th month was so much fun as it took us straight through Christmas and New Years. We enjoyed so many "firsts" with her and made so many memories. I feel like she has grown up a TON in just 4 weeks.



Here is what she's been doing:

• Her 4 month appointment isn't until Tuesday so I will update her Stats after that!
• She is in size 2 diapers. Still fits into some 3 month outfits but mostly 3-6 month clothes. It seemed like in a 24 hour span she outgrew all of her 0-3 month footie pajamas! One night they fit, the next night she was just too long!
• We transitioned her to her crib just after New Years. The first week was a challenge but she has finished her 2nd week of sleeping in her nursery and its going better!
• We start her bedtime routine around 9, which includes a bath, and she easily falls asleep by 9:45. The only down side is she now wakes up for a feeding between 3-4am where before she was sleeping 10-12 straight hours. (Not sure if this is a growth spurt thing or a crib vs. rock n play thing.) She is also waking up for the day around 7-7:30 instead of 9.
• She can scoot herself in a 180* in her crib at night - swaddled and everything! Head is at one end when I put her down and at the other when she wakes up in the morning, so we are starting to wean her from the swaddle.
• She is in a much better nap schedule - usually 1.5-2 hours in the morning and afternoon and a few cat naps here and there.
• She has lost quite a bit of hair on the top of her head, but it is getting thicker in the back!
• She is laughing more and more at silly noises and faces. It is the sweetest sound.
• Sometimes family gatherings overwhelm her a bit and she just needs her mama when it gets a bit too overstimulating. But she's still quick to offer smiles!
• She is trying to roll over but hasn't quite figured it out yet. Her first serious attempt was on 12/27. When laying on her back, she will swing her legs up in the air and get on to her side, but can't go any further. We practice it every day. :) Also practicing rolling tummy to back.
• She loves to lean forward when I'm holding her, trying to reach for her feet or any object that I might have in my hands and she likes to "stand" with support.
• Loves to sit in her high chair, her Exersaucer that she got for Christmas and her Bumbo seat - anything where she is up and can grab at toys and watch activity.
• She is doing much better at tummy time and playing independently on her floor mat with her toys! Sometimes long enough for me to workout while she watches.

Happy New Year!

So twenty fourteen is officially over and I have to say I'm sad to see it go. What a wonderful year it was for me and Mark. I loved looking back at my New Years post for 2014 and reading that I didn't have any plans for 2014 other than to just sit back and go with whatever happened, and man was that a good idea! Only 12 hours after I wrote that post I found out I was pregnant with my sweet Reaghan! From that day forward our whole year pretty much revolved around her!

Here's a quick look back:

Travels - We stayed pretty close to home this year. A 4th of July camping trip to NC and a trip up to Charlottesville was the extent of our travels this year! (Well, and a trip to Philly right after the 2014 New Year.)

New Accomplishments - Um. I pushed a human being out of my body. Without any medication. I think that tops my list for this year and all previous years combined.

New Scary Moments - After we found out we were pregnant we discovered about 90% of the OBGYN's in our area had dropped our insurance! Thankfully this was resolved before we got too far into the pregnancy. We found out 2 months ago that there is some uncertainty in Mark's job for the coming year. We aren't sure what all it will entail, but things could be changing for him/us in 2015.

New Milestones Reached - We celebrated our 2nd anniversary! We became Aunt/Uncle to our first niece. We had our first baby : )

New House Updates - We put new floors in! Pergo laminate wood flooring. Mark did 90% of the work himself! He's turning into a jack of all trades kind of man. We got a new roof! This one we hired the professionals for though. ; )

New Things Tried - We took parenting classes during our pregnancy. I switched from full time to part time at the end of my pregnancy and love being a mostly stay at home more than I ever thought possible! Keeping a tiny human alive for 3 months and counting!

Prayers Answered - A healthy pregnancy, a complication free delivery and a thriving baby.

We've also had some "unanswered" prayers this year and heartache in our family that I won't elaborate on because it isn't my story to tell. But we are having faith and remaining hopeful in 2015.


God was so good to us in 2014, even though we know we are undeserving. We also know that if things had been different last year, we would still proclaim God's goodness to us because it doesn't depend on our life's circumstances. But when I have the opportunity to praise him for the blessings of this life I try to do so!

We are looking forward to the coming year and continuing our journey as parents. Having a baby around infuses life with joy and we are excited about watching this beautiful little girl grow this year!