Grief and Hope

In my New Years post I shared that my sister Erin and her husband Adam were finally pregnant after 4 years of infertility struggles.

It was the very best news to start of the New Year and we were so excited to dream of all this year would bring - growing belly, gender reveals, baby showers, and a fresh new squishy baby to cuddle at the end of the summer.

I had been giving her progesterone shots every other day since they found out to help sustain the pregnancy. My poor sisters hips were tender and bruised from the multiple injections. But it was all going to be more than worth it. We just knew it.

It's with a severely broken heart that I share that they were unable to hear a heart beat at her last appointment and the ultrasound didn't show any growth of the gestational sack. They've instructed her to stop all medicine and return for another appointment on Thursday, as well as to prepare for her body to realize there is no longer a baby there.

I can't imagine the pain that Erin and Adam are experiencing right now. I could barely handle the news when she told me so I'm unable to comprehend how crushed they felt. How devastated they feel. What can you say to someone in that moment? There is nothing to say. I went and sat with her and cried with her and told her how beautiful and strong she was and how much we were going to miss baby Honeycutt. 

Of course in my own heart I cried out to God wanting to know why. Why would He allow them to experience this hope just to allow it to be taken away in a matter of weeks? There are few other things in my life that I've prayed so earnestly for - for my sister to carry this pregnancy to full term and deliver a healthy baby. Why did this prayer go unanswered? I'm sure you know... there often aren't answers for these sort of things.  In my head I know that God is sovereign, that He owes no explanation, and that He does love us deeply and in ways we could never imagine. I know He never promises we wouldn't have troubles in this world, and only promises that He has overcome the world. I know He brings beauty from ashes. But in times of hurt, its hard to translate that head knowledge to my heart. My sweet sister loves the Lord so much. She doesn't understand but she clings to the Lord. Do you know why? As a follower of Christ, in the midst of grief, there is always hope.

Heaven.

Where there will be no more pain or sadness.

Life hurts. Its hard. And it makes us long for heaven even more.

Heaven. 

Where we will hold baby Honeycutt one day. 

Would you please keep my sister and her husband and the rest of our family in your prayers over the next few weeks? This will be a hard season.

And would you also consider following Christ? So that you also may have the hope of heaven.