I've been doing a lot of "preschooly" things with Lilly lately and its had me wanting to write down my current thoughts on preschool because I've changed and grown a bit since doing what I called "Pre K" with Reaghan. I haven't had a complete turn around in thought process, but more of a going further down a road I was already travelling on, if that makes sense. ; )

I was so excited to start "school" with Reaghan but I knew I didn't want or need to do anything too soon. Even though I couldn't wait to start doing little themed crafts and "unit studies" with her I tried to keep the long term view in mind and held off on doing anything formal with her until she was 4. Her birthday is in September, so literally the week after she turned for, just a couple of weeks after everyone went "back to school", we started our little homeschool preschool. (Or Pre K ;)) I made a calendar board (we still use it in 1st grade so no regrets there!) and 2-3 times a week we would do school together. We would sing songs like the ABC's and Jesus Loves Me, read a bible story, and talk about the weather. Our school time only lasted about 30-45 minutes and we followed a letter of the week plan that I pulled together kind of on the fly each week by printing things off from Pinterest. If a holiday was coming up we would do little crafts or activities to go with it and sometimes little themes like Dental Health Week in February, or Farm Animals in the spring. It was SO much fun. We both really loved and looked forward to our scheduled time to do something intentional. 75% of the time it was low key, 25% of the time I was a little extra, and that's what I would go back and change. I would take that 25% that tried to introduce addition at 4 years old *face palm* and tuck it away for Kindergarten. Its NOT necessary to try to teach addition at 4! Or the 25% that got a little frustrated when she didn't remember a letter we had learned *cringe* and give her a kiss and just tell her what it is. Everything should be low key during the preschool years because here's what I realized after teaching Reaghan Kindergarten... she didn't need to know any of the things we learned that year of PreK before going in to Kindergarten. I do think it helped that she recognized her letters and numbers as she learned them all again, but the curriculum was geared towards teaching letters and numbers as if she didn't know them yet. 

Reaghan practicing cutting with Apple Printables After talking with some Kindergarten teachers, they shared that Kindergarten used to be a year to learn letters and numbers and maybe learn to read simple words by the end of the year, and now parents feel like they need to know all of those things before even getting to Kindergarten! I know I had that mindset a little bit with Reaghan, but praise God for growth and wisdom, yes?! Now that we've finished Kindergarten, are on to 1st Grade and have Lilly coming up into those preschool/prek years, I feel like I have a more solidified view on how to treat this preschool time and here it is: don't feel pressured to do preschool with your toddler. If you want to do something then keep it simple and fun and full of play!

I asked her to sort them by shape but she wanted to sort them by color instead. Fine by me!

Working together in one of the Dollar Tree books.

To kind of complete my thought process here, I just want to say that my heart behind talking about preschool is kind of two sides of one coin. On one side, I think it is so much fun to do preschool/prek things! I love doing a Letter of the Week with crafts and fun themes like Apples, Bugs, Ocean Animals, Farm life etc. When I did it with Reaghan like I talked about above, or when I do it with Lilly we had/have a blast!  Tons of positives came from it; one of them was that it just gave us a little schedule and structure for our week and it helped me be intentional about beginning bible reading with the girls. But even though I was trying to keep it relaxed, I realize looking back that somethings were a little overkill and just not needed. So while I still pull out the fun things to do with Lilly and I absolutely don't think there is anything wrong with these preschool things, I am even more sure of the other side of the coin. (Thank you Lord for growth and wisdom.) The other side is that none of it is absolutely necessary. Especially at 3. I get so sad when I see parents sharing that their 3 or 4 year old is crying because of "school work." Or when parents are stressing out over how to homeschool preschool for their kids this year since everything is still shut down due to Covid-19. I've seen a few friends having their 3 or 4 year old do "virtual preschool" with an online class and teacher. I'm not trying to pass any judgement, but virtual pre-schooling is so unnecessary. I am not a full on "unschooling" homeschool mama, I think there needs to be some genuine textbook learning that takes place as children get older, but not at 3. And not even at 4. At 3 they will learn all they need to know through playing and helping you go through your day. They definitely don't need to be sitting in front of a computer for virtual preschool. I understand some parents like preschool for the socialization aspect (and that's a completely different conversation for another day!) but virtual learning doesn't accomplish this. This year if you are finding yourself home with your toddler when you would've had them in preschool, please don't stress out. You don't need to do anything. Read books and play. If you feel like doing more then Pinterest is full of fun ideas but if its not your thing, then just let your toddler learn through playing. It's really okay!

One last thought - I am still valuing play time for Reaghan at 6 years old. Yes, she has book work to do, but if she and Lilly are engaged in some imaginative playtime when its time to start school, then I don't interrupt. We just start school a little later. I've found that its almost harder for her to get back in to the swing of playing after school but in the mornings they are full of fun ideas and I don't want to take that from them. There is so much time for book work and sitting still in her near future. Each year they will both naturally play less and sit more and so I want to protect and nurture their playtime as much as I can. The younger they are, the more their playtime should be seen as the real work of their childhood. 

Take a step back and evaluate preschool mama's... if you're having fun and enjoying your preschool time together then awesome! BUT if you're feeling stressed or your toddler is not into it then don't push it. Value their playtime. ABC's and 123's can wait, their precious toddler days can't. 

R E S O U R C E S

Check out Busy Toddler and Days with Grey for some fun, playful learning activities to do with your preschoolers!

Check out Arrows and Applesauce for Busy Binder ideas. She has an adorable digital download of a Preschool Journal for sale in her etsy shop, along with so many cute printables for learning and life with littles.

Teachers Pay Teachers is another great site for printables. Many of the downloads are for purchase but you can find tons of cute free items as well. Easy to find things using the search bar and filter for grade/price you're willing to pay. Love it!

We've been having some rough days with our three year old recently. She is a little girl with big emotions and big opinions and desires to be in control of every situation.

This last week she has been waking in the middle of the night announcing that she does not want to sleep anymore, especially not in her own bed. You can imagine how thrilled this makes me, especially since Addison isn't quite sleeping through the night yet. Between Addie waking to nurse and Lilly thinking that she can decide that 2am is morning time I am getting very little sleep.

Tonight as I was holding Lilly in her bed and singing her a few songs to help her settle back down to sleep I started praying for her to have a spirit of submission and to trust and surrender to my authority. I knew when I told her it was time for mommy to go back to her bed she would start to whine and tell me no. (Still trying to figure out why she thinks she can tell me no, it never works out for her, but she is persistent in trying...) While I was praying God began speaking to my heart about surrender to His authority.

There are so many areas I am actually being exactly like Lilly in my desire for control.

When Lilly is struggling to obey we talk to her about how our choices lead to blessings or consequences and provide examples of each. We talk to her about how God has made us to be her mommy and daddy and that she needs to trust and obey because we know what is best for her, like staying in her bed and sleeping at night. In all the wisdom of her 3 years, she insists that she doesn't need to sleep, insists that her bed is not the best place for her to be. I can see her internal struggle sometimes as she thinks about the blessings of good behavior. She wants them. She wants to enjoy the good things like snack time after bath for example, but she just can't bring herself to fully surrender. No matter how good the promise of obedience, her desire for autonomy is winning out. She can't see past the moment she's in or let go of wanting to be in control of her situation. I know there are differing parenting philosophies on allowing your children to choose or not choose certain things, but let me say that when there are times when we allow her to choose, as in "Okay you don't have to put your covers on." after she's whined about them being on, she will immediately begin to whine and say she does want them on after all. Because she's three and she doesn't know what she wants except for to be the boss.

My heart is more like my three year old then I really want to admit.

I know the promises of obedience that God has given us in His word, and I want them badly! But so many times I just can't see past the situation I am in to surrender to Him. So many times my prayers are full of demands disguised as petitions - requests that are really my insisting that God make things turn out the way that I want them too {you know, all the wisdom of my 31 years!} instead of trusting that He knows whats best for me.

This whispering from the Holy Spirit tonight as I cuddled my toddler renewed my patience and compassion for her. In the end I did have to exercise discipline because the rules on bedtime are not up for negotiation, but my heart was gentle and compassionate towards her as I thought of the ways God's kindness leads me to repentance. His statutes are also not up for debate, even when I question them. I am grateful that He is slow to anger and quick to forgive.

So here I am awake and at 2:40 am writing this down {while nursing Addison} so that I will remember on the days that I am teaching Lilly for the 100th time about surrender and obedience, that God has been trying to teach me the same lesson for the last 31 years. His mercies have failed not, they are new for me every morning. And so will I strive to offer that same grace to my 3 year old. Even at 2am.

The third child syndrome is showing up strong with our Addie Bear! Its been four months and I haven't posted one update about her here. Thankfully I've been taking her pictures so I'm just going to do a quick re-cap to get me caught up!

Its birth story time! `I didn't write much about my pregnancy this time around or share baby bump pictures but I definitely want to write about Addison's birth!

I'm a prodomal laborer, which means I basically legitimately labor on and off for a couple of weeks before its "go time" and once the real deal hits my babies tend to come pretty quickly. Reaghan was born 5 hours after we got to the hospital and Lilly was born after only 2 hours. With this downward trend we were a little anxious about actually getting to the hospital on time with Addison!

Pretty true to form I was 2cm dilated and 60% effaced at 36 weeks. With Reaghan I was so excited when I got that same news at 36 weeks and immediately went home and packed my bags thinking I would go into labor any day... this time I knew better! I had occasional contractions but nothing significant until 38 weeks. At that point they started coming in more regular patterns for an hour or so at a time but each time they came on it was with varying intensities. I was finally wise enough this pregnancy to just let my body do its thing and not tire myself out trying to speed anything up... until the weekend of my due date!

On The 18th I walked with the girls over to my sisters {about 1.5 miles} for dinner and had some very strong contractions and back pain on the way. They were intense enough to make me stop, lean on the stroller and breathe through them but once we got there and I sat down to eat and rest, everything stopped. I wasn't surprised.

The 19th was my due date and I had zero contractions all day. Mark and I went out for a date night that night to enjoy some one on one time, knowing it might be the last one for a while. That night around midnight I started to have contractions that were about 10 minutes apart and just strong enough that they were keeping me awake. I moved out to the couch so I wouldn't keep Mark up and started timing the contractions just to see. They were coming every 10 minutes, then 8, then 5, then 9, then 4, then 12 minutes. They were all over the place. Some were 10 seconds long and no big deal and then some were 45 seconds long and I'd have to really concentrate through them. In a cruel twist they would actually fade when I stood up to walk around and intensify when I was laying down... and they went on like this all night. I was so hopeful that this was it but I was waiting for that "knock me down" contraction to convince me that these weren't going to fade away again... it didn't happen. I went back to bed around 6:30 am, contracting no more and completely exhausted.

40 weeks!

The 20th was a Sunday and we just stayed at home all day because I was so drained from the night before. I had a couple of contractions that day, but they were mild. I wanted to go for a walk again but there was a nasty Nor' Easter passing through that kept us inside, so instead Reaghan and I did some squats and lunges together and some sideways stair climbing. I did some cat/cow positions to try to help baby get herself in position if she wasn't there yet. A few weeks prior I had suggested to an over due friend that she should try some relaxation techniques to get her labor started so I decided to take my own advice! That evening I took a bath and listened to some mindful birthing podcasts, focusing on how I wanted my delivery to go and praying. It was actually just what I needed. I felt refreshed, ready to breathe my baby down, and not worried about when Addison was going to decide to come.

The 21st I woke up at 7:30 with a small contraction just after Mark left for work. It was so mild that I didn't think anything of it until the second one came 12ish minutes later. I got up to get the day started and realized that I lost my mucous plug! I knew at that point that this was the real deal and in hindsight should've called Mark right away to tell him it was time, but I'm always SO hesitant to say its time to go to the hospital because of the way my body does the whole start and stop laboring! The girls were still asleep so I checked my hospital bag and put a few last minute things in there. The contractions were continuing and getting a bit stronger so I got dressed in what I planned to wear to the hospital and did my hair and makeup.

At 8:45 am I finally texted Mark to let him know what was happening and told him to keep his phone close. {Again, should've told him then to come home so we could go in, because I knew it was definitely the real deal, but I didn't!} The girls were sleeping in unusually late, but it was a huge blessing because I was able to focus on getting things ready to go while laboring peacefully by myself for a bit.

At 9:30 am I texted Mark that today was definitely the day but that I was going to get the girls breakfast and would let him know when I thought he needed to come home. {Not super smart considering our fast baby history, but I was just so comfortable laboring at home and felt like it was all under control.} I got the girls up and told them baby Addison was ready to be born! They were so excited. The contractions were getting to the point that I had to stop whatever I was doing until they passed but I didn't want to scare the girls, so I told them my belly was squeezing really hard and it was just Addison's way of letting me know that she was ready to come out! During breakfast I had a contraction that had me on my hands and knees on the kitchen floor and there it was! The "knock me out" contraction I was waiting for to know it was time to go. {Precious memory: Lilly got down on her hands and knees with me, curious about what I was doing, and I pretended I was looking at the muffins in the oven, so we looked and breathed together.}

At 9:56 am I texted Mark to come home and asked Erin to come over. {I had also been texting her all morning letting her know what was happening since she was going to watch the girls for us.}

At 10:20 am we were on our way to the hospital. I texted a few people to let them know I was in labor. {Side note - I texted a friend/coworker to let her know because our friend/boss was having a scheduled c-section that morning at the same hospital! We had joked all year about having our babies on the same day because our due dates were only a week a part and I couldn't believe that it was actually happening!}

At 10:45ish am we were at the hospital and checked in. We joked when we parked that we didn't have the baby in the car like we were worried about! I actually felt really good! The contractions were coming about 8-10 minutes apart and even though they were intense, I felt perfectly fine as soon as they were gone. They weren't tiring me out yet so I thought we had timed getting to the hospital just fine and that it would be a few hours before baby was born. In triage they got me hooked up and checked me. They said I was about 7cm dilated but she couldn't tell for sure because the amniotic sac was bulging and she didn't want to accidentally break my water since I was GBS+ and I needed to get antibiotics. They started wheeling me into the L&D room and on the way down the hallway things ramped up 1,000%.

At 11:00 am I was in the room and I was in the dreaded transition phase. They kept trying to hook my IV antibiotics up but every time they went to do it I would have a contraction and they'd have to stop. I was sitting on the edge of the bed while Mark rubbed my back, but Addie's heart beat had been low for a while and they couldn't monitor it well so they had me lay back down and called the doctor in. When the doctor came in she told me they might need to use a vacuum to help the baby out and I just remember saying "No. No vacuum." haha She was so sweet and explained that baby's heart rate had been low for a while and if it didn't come up soon we'd need to get her out. I knew it wasn't going to be much longer but couldn't really verbalize it at that moment. I could only manage "No." haha. Praise God the doctor finally told the nurses to stop trying to give me the IV because it wasn't going to do any good at this point and then she broke my water to try and help baby's heart rate to come back up. Unfortunately there was terminal mec in the amniotic fluid so they had to call in the pediatrician and NICU nurses so there ended up being like 6 people in the room aside from Mark and I. Mark said it wasn't chaotic but in my memory it just felt like there was a buzz of activity going on around me and it's the only drawback of the day for me. I wish it had been a little calmer in the room. Thankfully Addie's heart rate did come back up after she broke my water and I was allowed to move again.

At 11:20 am I tried to get to my hands and knees on the bed but was stopped by the worst contraction of the day... I was on my side and thought I might die. I laugh now thinking about that moment because I definitely got a little dramatic during that contraction! I'm not a screamer, I actually tend to hold my breath {which also isn't good!}, but I was sort of writhing around while death gripping the bed over my head. Ha! Once it passed I rolled back to my back to catch my breath for a second and refocus on embracing the contractions, not fighting them, and breathing down. As the next contraction was building I felt an intense pressure, I started breathing down, and as the contraction continued in the next few seconds I could feel her sliding down! It was so surreal, I didn't experience that with the first two. I remember zoning everything out and just focusing on feeling the contraction do its job. It was incredible. No one in the room was ready for her, not even Mark, because I had never said anything about being ready to push, I didn't even realize she would be coming with the next contraction! I said "She's coming" and the doctor whirled around and said "Oh my gosh, she's here!" and reached down to catch her as she was coming out. The nurses rushed over and grabbed my legs and had me push one more time to get her shoulders out and she was born!



She was precious; healthy, so clean, and had a perfectly round head!


I felt amazing because I hadn't spent an hour pushing her out! I wasn't tired at all so I was laughing with Mark, the doctor and nurses about how fast she had come and apparently how calm I had said "she's coming."  I even got to cut her cord and its such a sweet memory! I've never felt so great immediately after giving birth.  I was shocked when they told us her birth weight was over 9lbs!


My mom and Erin brought Reaghan and Lilly up a few hours later to meet her and this picture is one of my favorites of all time. You can tell how instantly they fell in love with her. I'm humbled by this sweet life God has given me to live with this man and these 3 girls.


Since I never got the antibiotics before she was born we had to stay the full 48hrs but finally got to come home on a beautiful October day! My mom and sister Sara stayed with us that afternoon to watch the girls while Mark and I napped and then Erin and her family brought us dinner that night. We are incredibly thankful for our family! We even had friends and family bring us meals the next week and felt so blessed by our church family being there to help and support us.

The big girls have been simply obsessed and the best sisters ever since. Our Addie Bear has been the sweetest, sweetest gift to our family and we thank God for her!

 





PS
My friend Ashley and I were roomed right next to each other and the same doctor delivered both of our baby girls. They were born just a couple of hours apart. We got to visit with each other during our hospital stay and it will always be a fun memory from Addie's birth.