This is probably going to be one of the most honest blog posts I've ever written, well maybe not honest, but I guess the most "real life" post. It's also one of the longer ones. You may or may not be interested, but I feel like documenting this past weeks experiences anyways. So here it goes.

This whole surgery thing took a lot more out of me than I thought.

I took Monday off of work for the day of the surgery and Tuesday off as a "get better" day and thought I'd be back on my feet by Wednesday for sure. As I got closer to the surgery, I was reading a few horror stories online from women who had the same procedure I was having done and so reluctantly I took Wednesday off as a precaution. A "just in case" day with the thought that if I was feeling good on Tuesday I could always go in to work on Wednesday anyways. I seriously doubted I was going to need 3 whole days to recover from this outpatient procedure.

I'm just going to admit it here - I was wrong.

Monday morning came bright and early and Mark took me to the hospital at 6am. I had been nervous about the surgery ever since we decided to go ahead and have it. You see, I had a very large endometrioma on my left ovary. They found it shortly before Mark and I got married but I was hesitant to have it taken out because there was a chance I would lose my ovary along with it. It wasn't really causing me pain, much to the Dr.'s surprise, and they weren't worried about cancer, so I figured there was no harm in leaving it alone because I really didn't want to lose an ovary at my age. Because well, it seemed like a big deal, losing an ovary in prime child bearing age. Unfortunately it did start causing me problems this last year and we found out there were risks involved with getting pregnant having that large of a cyst sitting there. Anyways, after a lot of praying we decided it was best to go ahead and get it taken out. I felt sure about the decision but still nervous about the surgery just because I've always had an intense fear of being put under anesthesia! My whole life I've considered that to be the scariest thing ever! I just didn't (and still don't) like the thought of being that out of touch/out of control. It's one of the only things that literally made me freak out if I thought about it. Needless to say, I had to do alot of praying. And Monday morning as we checked in at the hospital, I was as calm as could be. My blood pressure was normal, which surprised me, because it always jumps up when I'm nervous at the Dr's office. But you know what? I shouldn't have been surprised. I had been praying for peace and assurance and God is ever faithful, isn't He? I don't know why I get surprised when He reveals His presence. We also did a lot of praying that my ovary would be able to be saved, but also that if it couldn't, we would be at peace with what ever had to happen.

After the surgery, while I was still coming out of anesthesia (which wasn't as scary as I thought it would be) Mark told me they did in fact have to take my ovary. Mark said I cried when he told me - I'm not 100% clear on that memory thanks to the drugs I was on, but I do remember being in pain.

And this pain continued. Monday, Tuesday and into Wednesday I was hurting. I was only comfortable laying on my back. Any movement requiring my abdominals to work just about put me to tears. And also, in an unexpected turn of events, the government shut down this week which meant Mark was furloughed. Are we happy about this? Nope. But was I glad he was home to take care of me when we hadn't planned for him to be? Absolutely. I would've been in trouble with out him. I did finally return to work on Thursday an Friday but it was hard. I struggled for sure. I couldn't believe how naive I had been about this procedure. But I made it through.

The pain is lessening during the day now and I was finally able to sleep on my side last night! Woohoo!  But now I am just feeling frustrated. I am ready to feel better and be 100%. Tomorrow I was supposed to run/walk a 1/2 marathon with a good friend, its her first 1/2! So I am super disappointed that I won't be able to do it with her. I went shopping with my mom and sisters tonight and had to take severalrest breaks thanks to pain. Once again, I over estimated my ability to recover from having a small organ removed from my body.

This experience has been humbling; the 3 little scars on my abdomen serving as a reminder that I can in fact be knocked down, despite my mental resolve to stay on my feet. And that maybe I should listen to my Dr.'s and family members when they tell me that planning to run/walk a half marathon only 6 days after a surgery is a bad idea. haha

So what next?

I have a follow up with my Dr this Tuesday to go over pathology results, (just to make sure the cyst was in fact benign like they think it is) talk about recovery and also discuss fertility. I still have one good ovary though, so from what she told me in pre-surgery appointments we shouldn't have an issue trying to start a family. Which is something we are thankful for.

I'm praying next week finds my body healing faster than it did this week, but if not, I pray that I have patience with my body. I am eager to get back into my housework routine, workout routine and just feeling 100% again!